This is Important
by WordsCloseToYourHeart
Summary: I am about to make a decision that will either be my salvation or my downfall. If you can hear me and have a heart, listen as I explain my story and judge what I should do in the end. Are you listening? Or am I just talking to myself again? Should I stay and suffer seeing him-or the empty shell of what he was or leave and live until I put the bullet in my head?
1. Chapter 1: Room 208

Chapter 1: Room 208

You know that feeling you get when you meet someone and it just click in a way where it just feels right? Me neither. I've never been able to understand girls like that, so caught up in fantasies that they can't see what right in front of them. That's quite enough about me though. I want to focus on that sensation when something clicks in a relationship so quickly that you don't realize it's there. The closest I had to that took long to form and I don't know if its even blossomed yet. You know when you meet someone with the perfect facade that makes you jealous? That's so far from what I mean. I mean when you meet a person and you can pick out their flaws easily, but they kind of form this sculpture with bumps and dents that just make you smile. Now that's more the way I'm going with this. I meant someone like that and I never want him to change. He's so perfectly imperfect. Everything make sense around him most of the time, but now that's changed and I need to make a decision. The hardest decision of my life that will affect both of us. So please sit and listen for a while. To the most important year of my life. I need all of you to help me.

As I walked my unkempt locks flew dramatically in the wind. I sighed at how the day was going o far and looked for a distraction on the way to school. Cat on the fence? Nope. How about the tree shaped cloud? Hell no. What about that condom wrappe-, Seriously? I'm never looking for distractions on the way to school again. I sighed as the giant school came into full view and walked through the gates.

The first year of high school has sucked thus far. I don't even want to go into detail of how much I hate my life, and I can't seeing a the bell is about to ring. I need to make some changes. Start a conversation, stalk someone, anything to make me feel more alive. I drone on everyday with nothing to show I'm different. I want the world to hear me, really anyone to hear me.

As the day droned on everything went through one ear and out the other and I wanted nothing more than to get out. Surprisingly I didn't leave right after school. I was drawn to a room I had never been in on the top floor of our school. One way was the roof and the other a room marked: 208. What the hell. I thought as I opened the creaking door slowly.

What I saw was not expected yet it didn't freak me out. It was a medium sized room with a couple of desks but it looked like it had been through hell AND the apocalypse. The room was dim, only natural lights bleeding in through the windows, the desks usually wooden and full of light were scraped and cracked. Is that blood? I thought leaning in my nose scrunching up. Everyone else didn't seem to be coming up here so I found a dusty corner and sat.

I took out my headphones and started to listen to listen to Sugar, We're Going Down by Fall Out Boy. A frown fixed itself on my face as I took out my razors and pulled my sleeve up revealing old marks. I began cutting over old marks reopening them. I sat there for what felt like hours but was only 15 minutes. I didn't realize another figure entering the room.

"What would your parents think finding you dead here?"

I shot up, a shiver going through my spine. I looked up to see beautiful blue eyes staring into mine, emotionless. The boy had very childlike features, big blue doe eyes, messy dark hair, and skin that look soft to the touch, though his bone structure was sharp. The look on his face was quite the opposite of childish, cold, calculating, altogether he looked very mature even though you could tell he was a teenager.

"I'm not trying to kill myself. You would be able to tell if I was."

I snapped back after a few long moments.

"Mara, since you asked so politely."

I added sarcastically with a slight smirk. His face mirrored mine as he rested against one of the desks. The playful look in his face made him look much more like the child I knew he was. The curiosity was always there dancing across his eyes. He made his way towards me sticking his hand out which I just raised an eyebrow at. He let it drop to his side rolling his eyes though the smirk there.

"Holmes. Sherlock Holmes."

That whole scene played out continuously in my mind a I lied in my bed. I successfully talked to someone at that god forsaken school. He didn't seem stuck up or flat out rude, he was very blunt though. He was unique, I couldn't help but smile at the boyish grin appearing on his face every couple of minutes. I needed to know him more. In the time period we talked he didn't really say anything.

As my eyes closed I knew what I had to do. I will see what it's like in that mind of yours, Holmes. I will learn what's behind those beautiful eyes. I let a giggle fall from my lips, feeling happier than usual. This was a change a strange yet wonderful change.

I walked to school today with a hop in my step and a wicked grin on my face. I got a text from _him_ 3 hours before school starts telling me to meet him in the room, I quickly agreed to go. Remember you don't own Sherlock, Mara. I quickly blushed in embarrassment at the thought. **(Disclaimer: By the way, like Mara, I do not own BBC Sherlock.)** I walk through the gates of the school making my way up all the stairs. Still half asleep it feels like I'm climbing Mount Everest.

Once reaching the room I opened it slowly peeking in. I'm met with the face of a 14 year old but he look more like a bored 6 year old. I gave him a slightly wide eyed blank look as our eyes bored into each others. I could stare at his eyes all day, but he quickly tear his eyes away from mine looking upset.

"What's up your butt today?"

I asked half joking half concerned. He stop rubbing his head to look at me surprised before regaining his composure.

"Tch. Idiot."

I heard hi mumble and walked in further to the room before putting my hands on my hips leaning to one side.

"Excuse me?"

I asked with attitude lacing my voice. I didn't take kindly to rudeness and the sooner Holmes learned this, the better.

"You heard me."

He retorts looking back at me with a raised eyebrow a though it wasn't sassy, but he was literally confused a to why I asked what he said. I looked at him incredulously. I then leant in so our face we're inches apart.

"I want you to look me in the eyes and say it."

I hissed out darkly. He looked fearful for a minute before trying and failing to look unreadable. No more comments were made till leaned back and smiled.

"Good, but seriously are you okay?"

I asked again a bit more softly. I heard mumblings that I couldn't quite make out. I raised my eyebrow knowing he knew exactly what he was doing. He flinched.

"I can't deduce you."

He grumbled, sounding very uncomfortable. I ruffled his hair causing him to grimace.I had no idea what he was talking about but he looked like he needed to be comforted.

"It's okay bud."

 _ **Okay so that was a thing. I wanted to keep this chapter short because I wanted to get a feel for the characters and everything. Let me know if you like it and what you think would make it better. since these are teenagers I mean its going to be a bit mature. There will be suicidal themes and it will have heavy topics but mostly funny shenanigans and some themes of romance but we'll talk more about that when we cross that line, if you know what I'm saying. So if you have questions or feedback comment, I don't bite (Most of the time.) See ya later.**_


	2. Chapter 2: I Can't Watch This

Chapter 2: I Can't Watch This

It was becoming a habit of mine to visit room 208 after school everyday now. I usually brought my razors so I wouldn't have to risk doing it at home anymore. Holmes and I had been getting closer after the past few weeks.

He'd apparently been going to this room since sixth grade and I was the first person to "explore" since he had never seen anyone else up here. She had found his choice of words quite amusing. He was so arrogant.

"Hey."

I said giving a little wave to the other occupant of room 208. He looked up for a second as an acknowledgment to her existence. I threw my bag on one of the desks and lied down on the floor closing my eyes lost in self loathing and unshed tears.

The whole day from beginning till now had been really hard. She just woke up knowing it was one of her bad days for depression. Tear were in her eyes on the way to school, and gloomy thoughts surrounded her all day. Waking up her senses might help. She turned on some music and put headphones on.

Yet again she slid razors out from her bag missing the slight wince from Holmes completely before she started. Yet again the male winced every time she slashed herself.

He murmured something under his breath before collecting his stuff and exiting the room swiftly. Mara watched him concerned putting the razor away and pulling down her sleeves.

She was now making her way home, thinking about what in the hell would make him dash out of there so quickly. She shrugged it off to stressed to be thinking about it, but- no,no. Stop it, I thought hitting my head making a satisfying clunk. I need to relax

^!^!^!^

I thought about it way to much last night, and came to a conclusion.I'm going to start risking cutting back at home.

^!^!^!^

 _ **Okay so that was a really short chapter. Like really short. I kind of just wanted to capture the relationship between them as not really talking a lot about things,but just being able to read each other. Sorry, I like to clear things up at the end of chapter *_*. See you later.**_


	3. Chapter 3: The Experiment

Chapter 3: The Experiment

My eyes widened as I saw the Holmes Mansion come into view. In comparison to the humble abode my father and I live in this was very extravagant. I rather liked the cozy home I had stayed in. I was happy and apparently my father said I had a big change in my mood.I had stopped cutting. Though i was still mildly depressed I had developed this friendship with Holmes and it had a big impact on my life. I saw Sherlock smirking as he matched my footsteps.

"Oh shut up, Holmes."

*()*()*()*

Why did he invite me here? Oh I have a very bad feeling about this. He has always had a reason for doing something in the last couple of weeks that I've known him so of course I'm going to be cautious and suspicious. He caught my uncertain eyes making him uneasy.

"Stop worrying, Mara."

His voice carried to my ears snapping me out of my thought. I gave him a playful glare causing him to send me a lopsided grin that made me roll my eyes smirking. Typical. He unlocked the door and walked in gesturing me to follow, I quickly obliged. I didn't know his family so I honestly couldn't know what to expect from the people that made Sherlock... himself

Walking through the doors I took in the dark hardwood floors and the comfortable yet sleek looking living room. Beautiful light fixtures hung from the ceiling gracefully. Everything sparkled I swear to God. I saw Sherlock smirking at me like an idiot. I gave him a wink.

"You surprise me every time, Holmes"

I gave him a wicked little grin as I gestured for him to continue. He did but before we could really do anything the door sounded a though it was being unlocked. Thought pushed aside I could feel myself being pulled in the opposite direction at full speed. We ended up in what looked like a guest room, but I was guessing it was Sherlock's once I saw the messy desk.

It had looked like a bomb went off in the room, but the bed was strangely untouched. I examined more thoroughly and my eye landed on the ceiling which had unidentified liquids stained in various colors.

"Experiments."

He said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. I raised an inquisitive eyebrow at his vague explanation.

"By experiments do you mean you throwing random shit at your ceiling and seeing what happens?"

He threw a dark look at me though I could see his lips twitching up in amusement.

"Idiot."

He coughs out with a smile causing me to flash him my own far to bight smile. I cross my arms before replying to his one word retort.

"I know you are but what am I?"

He lets out an unintentional snort causing me to clap slowly. He looks at me questioningly almost as if asking 'Why the fuck are you clapping you retarded chipmunk?' I don't know why everything he does has to be related to an insult, but it does.

"I'm so proud, that's the closest you have ever gotten to a laugh." I wipe a fake tear away with a sniffle. "They grow up so fast."

Holmes chuckles lowly causing me to gasp dramatically. Thinking about it, it's probably the weirdest laugh I have ever heard. Probably cause his voice is so low and he's Sherlock so of course it's weird, everything he does is weird.

"So what are these spectacular experiments you do, Holmes."

He starts his explanation which goes completely over my he- I mean which I understood every word of, but I'm pretty sure this is the most he has ever talked. I smiled and crossed my arms as he finished.

"I actually have one I'm about ready to do. We could try it."

Sherlock offers challengingly at the end of his ramble. I smirked and walked over to him.

"I would be honored, Mr. Holmes." Challenge accepted,I always accept a challenge,I wouldn't be myself if I didn't.

~1 Explosion Later~

Well, that didn't go a planned. We were both a bit frazzled by the end of the whole explosion thing. I looked at him, he looked at me, and we both may have rolled onto our backs clutching our stomachs as we erupted into a fit of laughter.

*()*()*()*

After the eventful day came to an end I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling as I let out an exhausted sigh. After the explosion the other Holmes sent me home, but just to piss him off s _omeone_ got a kiss on the cheek on my way out. When I looked over at him he was steaming and Sherlock looked really uncomfortable. All in all it was worth it.

I think I may enjoy teasing those two a little to much, but they love it. Tch,I'm being a cheeky bastard again. I let darkness engulf me after my eyes fluttered closed.

 _I could feel myself moving but couldn't stop it a I looked in the mirror. Thought swirled around in my head like,_ _ **end it now,**_ _or,_ _ **it's not worth it anymore.**_ _My hands had a tingling sensation to them as I looked around not being able to stop tears from escaping my eyes. I realized though my eyes had tears blurring my vision that I was in my bathroom. I also saw blood dripping from my arms onto the tile floor. I held a razor in my hand clenching onto it tightly before slashing my neck blood gushing through it splattering the mirror-_

I found myself back in my bedroom dizziness taking hold of me before bile rose in my throat and I threw up off the side of my bed. Tears streamed down my face.I thought I was getting better.

*()*()*()*

I wasn't able to sleep all night so I woke up face raw with tears and dark circles under my eyes. I left for school quickly not wanting my dad to see my face. It was a slow walk and I ended up being late, but I didn't care and nor did the teacher point anything out seeing the look on my face. I felt the dark thought continue in my head as I fought to not rip my hair out.

I think I'm going to throw up...again. My eyes met sparkling blue eyes which were studying me carefully with as much sincerity as Sherlock could give. I tried to give him a smile... My lips didn't even twitch upwards.

*()*()*()*

 _ **Okay so that was a bit of a downer at the end, but just like everyone else, Mara is not invincible. We all have our faults but there are always people out there who find your bruises beautiful and the others, the majority, who sneer at them. It makes it all the sweeter when two people can find each other and find perfection in the others imperfection. People aren't perfect, but there are always people who see specific people as perfect. That's the only way I could describe the last scene:) Sherlock ha seen Mara for her imperfections. He still doesn't fully trust her a he only says about one word to her sentence ^_^ but we're getting there. See you later.**_


	4. Chapter 4: Bullies & Fights

Chapter 4: Bullies & Fights

It had seemed normal today other than the sun seeming to be a bit dimmer, but I paid no attention to it. Brushing it off like the dust on my shoulder. I just couldn't seem to shrug the feeling of worry off me. Holmes had been...off. I don't know how to put it. My stomach churns when I see the icy look on his face,I thought I was getting him out of his shell,but he just seems to be back at square 1.

I was taking a walk to pass the time,happy it was the weekend. I inhaled deeply letting fresh air lighten the weight of worry off my shoulders for once. I tensed up yet again when I heard the sound of heavy thuds. I turned around the corner to see a sight that made my blood boil.

There was the frail boy I had come to call my friend on the ground being beat up by boys that were taller than him, but shorter than me. They are going to rue the day they were born. Fire in my eyes I slow walked up to the boys a threatening glare chiseled into my face.

"Excuse me?"

I said lowly, all attention turning to me. I saw fear in the three boys eyes before one shouted something causing them all to run away. I looked down my eyes softening at the bruised boy on the ground, my hand reaching out to help him up.

I winced when he brushed my hand off coldly. Hoisting himself up his shirt raised up revealing. Multiple purple and green bruises making me feel nauseous.

"Holmes, are you okay?"

I asked my face probably a bit green with worry. He looked at me the way he first looked at me making me question whether he was 15 or not.

"I'm fine."

He brushed me off. I felt like annoying dust clinging onto his shoulder. I'm starting to question everything I believed was true. He began to walk away a tears collected in my eyes. I blinked them back as my stomach did twists and turns.

I grabbed onto his wrist causing him to turn to me, his eyes wide with some emotion that I couldn't decipher.

"You've been acting really weird these past few days. It's starting to make me wonder if you're actually my friend. Is this behavior supposed to be telling me something? Cause I really can't tell anymore."

I said not being able to look at him in the eyes. Emotions were swirling around me at 100 miles per minute

.I felt tiny and vulnerable, two emotions I was not at all used to. I didn't like it at all. I didn't feel him move for multiple moments so I dropped my arm still looking at the ground, red hair draping over my face.

He didn't say anything and I couldn't tell if he was still there. It felt like eternities I waited there needing a sign that we were okay. It wasn't until it started raining that I looked up to see him gone.

Tears streamed down my face as I collapsed onto the ground body convulsing with sobs, and shivers going up my spine as rain caused my clothing to cling to my body.

I felt alone, completely alone as water soaked my clothing. I felt arms wrap around me and warm breath tickle the crook of my neck as my irregular breathing became more normal. The arms wrapped around me belonged to Sherlock, feeling relieved I let out a heavy sigh.

An umbrella was being held over us by the other Holmes,I gave him a nod, appreciating his existence.

"You are both such assholes."

I said playfully as I snuggled closer to the source of warmth behind me. I didn't see them but I could tell they were both blushing.

We sat there for God knows how long, I wasn't even sure how I got home but I did. I was just happy that everything was back to normal, well as normal as things could be around the Holmes boys.


End file.
